• one bite you may get the bitter taste of chocolate

    another one, the sweet strawberry

    next bite, you feel the smoothness of vanilla

    followed by the tangy durian

    finalized by tender taste of avocado

    like what we experience in life, we’ll get one bite of every sweet and bitterness. it's the flavour of life...

Siksaan 90 Menit oleh Jupe-Depe

Posted by ++ Chris ++ On 4:09 AM 0 comments



“Kata-kata kasar dan umpatan bertebaran sepanjang film.”
Julia Perez dan Dewi Perssik adalah dua penari Jaipong yang bersaing untuk menjadi primadona klub. Untuk menjadi primadona, Jupe dan Depe harus memakai baju seksi yang menampakkan belahan dada dan kain tipis menerawang. Persaingan terjadi di atas panggung sebuah klab malam saat keduanya menarikan tarian erotis.

Memasuki bioskop, kami disambut poster film Arwah Goyang dengan plester hitam besar pada tulisan Karawang. Judul film yang semula Arwah Goyang Karawang diganti menjadi Arwah Goyang Jupe Depe.

Sepertinya setengah durasi diisi dengan tarian Jupe dan Depe. Jupe menari seperti kesurupan diiringi suara auman harimau. Sepertinya Pada puncak kesurupannya, Jupe tiba-tiba punya taring seperti drakula. Sampai film berakhir, maksud adegan ini tetap menjadi misteri.

Efek hantu dirancang sebagai alat untuk mengagetkan penonton. Kemunculan hantu selalu diawali dengan auman harimau dan musik latar yang menegangkan. Jreng! Hantu muncul selama satu detik dalam wujud ala topeng di film Scream yang memenuhi layar.

Pola film ini adalah tarian erotis-kemunculan hantu-perkelahian Jupe Depe-tarian erotis-kemunculan hantu dan seterusnya. Hantu itu membunuhi orang yang terkait dengan Jupe, juga membunuh beberapa orang secara acak. Pada akhirnya terungkap bahwa hantu itu adalah saudara kembar Jupe yang dendam karena suaminya direbut dan dia dibunuh. Anehnya, hantu itu juga membunuh suaminya sendiri, entah karena alasan apa.

Jalan cerita yang sederhana dibuat dengan tidak konsisten. Tak perlu bertanya tentang pembangunan karakter, karena semua karakter bergerak sesuai keinginan sutradara. Beberapa adegan sebenarnya tidak perlu ada, seperti adegan Jupe mandi kembang tengah malam.

Jangan lupa adegan legendaris perkelahian nyata Depe Jupe. Kedua perempuan ini berkelahi dengan mengadu dada. Tak lupa, tulisan "adegan nyata" ditempelkan di sudut kanan bawah agar penonton tidak melewatkan adegan yang sempat ramai diberitakan infotaintment itu.

Pembuat film merasa perlu menanamkan moral dari film ini, bahwa penari jaipong tak seharusnya menari striptease. Moral ini ditunjukkan saat hantu yang menyamar menjadi Jupe menolak menari jaipong striptease. "Saya merasa telah menyalahgunakan kesenian," kata dia, dua kali.

Penonton hari itu cukup banyak, sebagian besar adalah anak-anak muda usia belasan. Mereka datang berdua dan berombongan. Penonton yang datang berombongan memilih tempat duduk tepat di tengah, tempat terbaik untuk menikmati film. Mereka yang menonton berdua kebanyakan memilih duduk di pojok yang sepi.

Film dibuat dengan format digital, setelah itu barulah dipindahkan dalam format seluloid. Trik ini biasa dilakukan untuk menekan ongkos produksi, karena merekam langsung dengan format seluloid butuh biaya jauh lebih mahal. Hasilnya adalah film yang murah dengan gambar kualitas rendah.

Kualitas gambar sangat rendah dan kadang berbayang. Pengaturan cahaya sangat buruk sehingga saya seringkali harus menutup mata karena tak tahan dengan lampu sorot yang menyilaukan.

Kata-kata kasar dan umpatan bertebaran sepanjang film. Kami menghitung ada 19 kata "lonte" diteriakkan sepanjang film, ditambah satu yang tertulis di kaca dengan darah.

Tidak jelas di mana setting film ini. Lokasi syuting menunjukkan bangunan-bangunan di sebuah kota kecil. Tapi saat adegan berganti, tiba-tiba layar menyorot ke jalan dengan gedung bertingkat yang jelas-jelas Jakarta.

Keluar dari bioskop dengan sangat lega karena film akhirnya selesai, saya melihat poster film selanjutnya sudah tersedia. Dedemit Gunung Kidul, Cewek Saweran dan Pocong Ngesot dengan slogan "ketika pocong tak lagi loncat". Tiba-tiba saya mengerti kenapa para penikmati film sangat khawatir ketika muncul isu bahwa film asing tak lagi bisa dinikmati di bioskop.

As told by Famega Syavira Putri for Yahoo! Indonesia...
http://id.omg.yahoo.com/blogs/siksaan-90-menit-oleh-jupedepe-blog_editor-72.html

Dear Dick: Quick to the Finish

Posted by ++ Chris ++ On 6:59 AM 0 comments

Chase_dryburgh_brent_everett_24_20030421_1714345851 Dear Dick,
I’ve got an ongoing problem that’s really starting to put a crimp in my sex life. Guys I fool around with seem to be able to last a long time without ejaculating, but I’m always ready to go within a few minutes! To reference a recent Glee episode, I have to think about old ladies in their panties for a minute before I can start going again, and it’s getting to be a real drag.
Any suggestions?

Did It in a Minute

Chase_dryburgh_brent_everett_25_20030421_2078283177 Dear Did It,
Premature ejaculation is a bummer. Sometimes it's biological—your body just behaves this way; sometimes it's due to training because when you first started diddling you needed to make it quick so that you wouldn't get caught by a parent or sibling. You may need to see a sex therapist, but before you do that let me make some (much cheaper) suggestions:
1. Be of Service
Remove the emphasis off your linguine of love and instead take time to please your partner. No man will turn down the extra attention, and when he's getting closer to completion you can better time your finish.
2. Stay Slightly Out of Reach
When you're working your guy, keep away from his hands. That way he won't accidentally work you into a frenzy before you're ready.
3. Tease Yourself
This isn't to say that you should keep your privates sequestered like a nun. As you're helping him along, give yourself a little tease. Work up those sensations then stop yourself before things go too far. This kind of "touch and retreat" method may help train you to handle the excitement.
Chase_dryburgh_brent_everett_18_20030421_1664284019 4. Tell Him What's Up
Guys LOVE knowing that what they're doing is turning you on. It feeds their ego and the sex (because, as Dear Dick often says, great sex begins in the brain). So if things are getting close, tell him. But do it as a compliment. That way it's not a buzz kill, it's a sex thrill.
5. Mix It Up
If you're the poker, consider using your fingers or toys some of the time. They add naughtiness and variety, and let you last longer.
6. Keep Going
Some guys don't lose their erections after ejaculating. If you're one of those men, replace the glove and start again. Yes, the penis can be sensitive but you can work through that. If you do drop your rock then immediately devote yourself to his pleasure, letting him know that you can go again—and plan to because he's so frickin' amazing! (See, there's that ego-feeding-the-brain-feeding-the-sex thing again.) Then, after 20 minutes or so, you’ll be good to go, and the second orgasm is likely to be a much longer time in arriving.
Try these things out and see how they work for you. If they don't, then seek out professional help.
Dick_ProfilePic 



Dear Dick isn't a doctor or health worker of any kind, but he did struggle with quick completion as a young buck. Fortunately, he's taken care of that situation and is happy to write about his experiences.

睡眠 (Shuìmián) - Fast Asleep

Posted by ++ Chris ++ On 12:10 AM 0 comments


He's sooo sweet, isn't he?
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The Right Hand

Posted by ++ Chris ++ On 7:01 PM 0 comments

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NEW YORK — On a recent Monday night at a Los Angeles karaoke bar, a meek-looking woman in a business suit and glasses was coaxed on stage by her co-workers.
While the boozy crowd readied itself for four minutes of awkward singing, the woman — "Karen" — suddenly belted out exquisite, pitch-perfect renditions of the Jewel songs "Who Will Save Your Soul" and "Foolish Games."
Astonished crowd members picked their jaws off the floor and cheered wildly. One person was heard comparing Karen to "an American Susan Boyle."
Unbeknownst to them, they had been victims of "undercover karaoke."
Karen really was Jewel, and the proceedings had been filmed by FunnyOrDie.com, the comedy video website co-founded by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. The video was posted Tuesday and was rapidly circulating online, with more than 160,000 views as of evening.
"I was a bit nervous to do this skit at first because I feared it would amount to little more than showing off some vocals, dressed as someone else," Jewel said in an e-mail. "I was worried it wouldn't be self-effacing enough."
For the video, created by Funny or Die writer-director Eric Appel, Jewel was given a prosthetic nose, wig and glasses, and butt padding. Only after performing as Karen did Jewel return to the stage of the karaoke joint, the Gas Lite, as herself.
(Before the reveal, one audience member says to the camera: "They tell me she only sings at Christmas parties.")
Though Jewel is principally a singer-songwriter, she has acted before, most notably in the 1999 Ang Lee film "Ride with the Devil." This performance was quite a bit quicker (Funny or Die contacted her just a few days before taping on June 28) and more comical.
"This did not require much, as the costume did most of the work for me," said Jewel, whose full name is Jewel Kilcher. "I love improv and this was a small chance to do that, luckily as someone else. I would love to do more of it in the future. A dream gig would be a show like `Curb Your Enthusiasm.'"
Jewel also shot another video for Funny or Die that she says involves former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. A spokeswoman for the site said it will be released next week.

Oh, how I love this girl :-)
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