我怎么说 - What I Say

Isn’t this a big BULGE or what? haha…

In one of my consultation sessions with one of the clients, I noticed this guy, stood right in front of me, flaunting his “asset”.

Me, was just sat right there while he was talking to my colleague, don’t want to pass the opportunity to immortalize this moment for you to see.

Its’ an exclusive initiative that disappoints and encourages at the same time, but for the rich, who have always fantasized about owning a rare Sumatran Tiger prowling in their backyard, it’s a dream come true. Under a unique proposal, the Indonesian government would be allowing the rich to adopt this rare animal for 1 billion rupiah ($107,000). Deforestation and hunting has led to severe culling of the numbers and with just 400 big cats alive today, the government hopes that the initiative would protect these animals from near extinction. The tigers will remain state property and will be returned to the state if they were no longer wanted. Any cubs the tigers produce will be the property of the state. As the conservationists are left scorning at the strange proposal, orders have already started pouring in from the rich who in the deepest of their minds have yearned to be called the big shots; courageous and powerful as the Sumatran Tiger.
www.bornrich.org

I pity them though, the tiger I mean. Especially since I've been assigned to work in Sumatra for awhile. I can see that they do struggle to survive with all the environment-unfriendly human activities in Sumatra. Illegal logging, oil company operation, people burning forest to create space for sawit plantation.
Now they want to make them available on sale, what kind of (so-called-rich) people are they?
And considering that this is encouraged by the government... What were they thinking? *shake head*

There's a proverb in Indonesia "Dikasih Hati Minta Jantung", literally translated "I give you my liver, but still you ask for my heart". That proverb basically describes about a person that take you for granted.

I had this friend I knew from Fridae, say his name is A. Since the very first I already told him that I have been in a relationship for 2 and a half year already, and said that I'm not into man-looking-for-soulmate chase for now, let's be friends. At first it went along very well, looks like we're gonna make a good friendship (which is hard to look for in gay world, or at least for me). Sometimes we said hi and exchange stories about our day, just casual conversation.

Casual conversation, that's all for me. But not for him. Apparently he thinks that he could fit between me and my boyfriend.
"Wah, it's raining out there, so cold and cozy, I need someone to hug me, lol. But who yaaa?"
"Want me to bath with you?"
Example of the things he'd say.

And as cherry on top, our chat today...
A: Why so long ?!?! [notice the marks]
Me: Yeah, why is it a prob for ya? Even my boyfriend wun be like that, lol.
A: Ya, because he doesn't care! [How can you be so certain mistah?]
A: He lives abroad. [Errrh ya, so??]

...................

Me: Well well well, now who's actually hoping that, is it you or me? :p

Twice he asked me to accompany him watch movie, and I was just like ok, nothing special la. In the theatre, even I didn't give him hint or hold his hand, I literally FOLD my hand, although I knew he put his hand on the palmrest. OBVIOUS INVITATION, no? It's quite obvious on where this will go isn't it? From my experience with all the guys I've dated, the thing that you do in the theatre are good indications on how you will spend the night after. Hold hands = good! No touchy touchy = Sleep alone tonight!

And it wasn't even a date!!!
He wanted to watch, he asked me to accompany. I thought the movie was good, so I agreed to accompany. That simple! Tell me if I did wrong.

Hey man! Know your boundaries. It's not like you're my boyfriend or something.

My lao gong just sent it to me...



You think we could make an everlasting couple? Lol...

Money Money Money...

Important in our life, no?
Although one says that money can't buy love, but for me, without money you can't even live long enough to love. It's a materialistic world we live in.

This blog entry was actually inspired by my senior in workplace. He's been working here for more than 20 years already, and if you count his salary, it is enough to buy one new Honda CR-V every month. And even on certain months in a year, he could afford to buy new Honda Camry with his monthly salary.
People talk bad about him, people envy him, people just want to be like him somehow... Who wouldn't?

But in achieving that, he often disobey other people's right, he often tricks his colleague so that he could get the expensive jobs, and sometimes, while he's on vacation, he would keep monitoring the activities in the workplace, and when expensive jobs coming, he would fly right away, even in the middle of vacation, and replacing his subtitute colleague for that job.

He never, for once treat his crews, even after performed several jobs in one single day. Bring re-cooked food for banquet party. Using the same worn-out clothes for year. Buying second-hand goods for his kids. Bring airplane foods as a gift for his smallest kid.

So many bad talks about him that I've heard, so many curses and invectives that people say to him. For me, this is not the problem, and that's not how you should solve it.

Being greedy is a choice, you cannot force people not to be greed because that's your perception of good behaviour of human beings that has been planted in your mind say, since you were a small kid. That's not it. It's his choice to live his life that way, he has taken all his risks for good, so be it. He lost his time for his family, he has that stigma from other people, and many others that I cannot even mention, only he knows. He has swallowed his pills. And I bet  that would be a bitter one, probably get even more bitter in following years.

As for me, I don't want to have a regret in my live by piling money all the time in my life until I cannot even enjoy it anymore. I have my purposes, I don't mind to work hard (and smart of course) and spend my money for my family. People say " It is not the time of shopping and travelling, you should do it later once you have more money...". But the question is, when? How enough is enough?

God, Family, and Sweetheart (and Friends, heh heh). For me, that is all that counts.

He's super handsome, isn't he?
To think of him as playable character in a game was far beyond my imagination. But as the powerful graphic for game console came true by the release of Playstation 3, it is possible now.
This handsome guy is a character from game named Heavy Rain: The Origami Killer which will be released around February 18, 2010 in Japan, February 23, 2010 in North America, and February 24, 2010 for Europe. I don't have a Playstation 3 console though, but I WANT TO HAVE IT after I see this, lol...

Of course after I make sure that Playstation 3 can play pirated game :p

And this game will surely be one of the 1st game I buy :)
Here's the preview of the gameplay...






I want I want I want, lol...

Ever since I decided to join the crowd in playing PSP, I'm always up to date with all the new games released, lol. I am obsessed >.<
And one of my favourite these days is Dissidia. At first I expected would see another Final Fantasy RPG series (which I dun really favor). Everyone's been raving about Cloud, Tidus, etc etc, but I dun really have determination to finish even one Final Fantasy episode. The only game in the series which I played was FF VII (people said that it was the one with the most exciting stories ever, but not for me, heh heh) and I didn't finish playing it. Quite boring after a while.


You can see the fighting scene example here...


Let's see how long I can play this one, hehe.

I cherish it :-)

But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.  Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

徘徊过多少橱窗
How many cupboards and windows have I paced past,
住过多少旅馆
How many hotels have I stayed in,
才会觉得分离也并不冤枉
Until I no longer feel wronged by the break up?
感情是用来浏览
Is affection just for show
还是用来珍藏
Or should it be treasured,
好让日子天天都过得难忘
To make each day an unforgettable day?

熬过了多久患难
How long have I endured the trials?
湿了多少眼眶
How many times have my eyes teared?
才能知道伤感是爱的遗产
Until I knew that sorrow is love's legacy?
流浪几张双人床
How many double beds have I slept in alone?
换过几次信仰
How many different religions have I changed?
才让戒指义无返顾的交换
Until the rings are exchanged irrevocably?

把一个人的温暖
To let a person's warmth,
转移到另一个的胸膛
Transfer to the torso of another.
让上次犯的错反省出梦想
Let the mistakes made in the past be reflected upon to create the dreams.
每个人都是这样
Everyone was like this,
享受过提心吊胆
Having experienced nervousness before,
才拒绝做爱情代罪的羔羊
Before rejecting being a scapegoat for love.
回忆是抓不到的月光握紧就变黑暗
Memories are like uncatchable moonbeams, clench too tightly and they would turn into darkness.
等虚假的背影消失于晴朗
Wait for the shadows of the shallow and false to vanish into the clear sky.
阳光在身上流转,等所有业障被原谅
The sunlight is shining on us, let's wait for all the imperfections to be forgiven.
爱情不停站 想开往地老天荒
Love is not stopping, it is heading towards the land of eternity;
需要多勇敢
One needs to be braver in love.

烛光照亮了晚餐,照不出个答案
The candlelight has lit up our dinner, but it cannot illuminate the answer.
恋爱不是温馨的请客吃饭
Being in love is not just warmly inviting people over for meals.
床单上铺满花瓣 拥抱让他成长
Sprinkle the bedsheets with flower petals, hug him and let him grow up,
太拥挤就开到了别的土壤
If it is too cramped, just go to another place.

感情需要人接班
Love needs someone to continue it,
接近换来期望
And slowly be exchanged for hope.
期望带来失望的恶性循环
Hope, however, brings the evil cycle of disappointment.
短暂的总是浪漫
The short-termed relationship is always romantic,
漫长总会不满
The long-term relationship is always full of dissatisfaction.
烧完美好青春换一个老伴
After burning through the great years of youth, exchange it all for an old partner.


你不要失望
Don't be disappointed,
荡气回肠是为了
All these touching scenes are for
最美的平凡
The most beautiful normality.


No matter how many times I have heard this melody, I just can’t get bored with it. No other song can depict me like how this song does. It was funny, however, how I found this song. Few years ago, I was alone in my hotel room, in a place I would not normally come after. I didn’t have any urge to go out, like what I will usually do. I saw advertisement on tv, advertised this compilation album.

I was startled, literally, when I first heard the piece of this song aired, and in a rush I looked at the screen, trying to look for some infomation, but no information there. I started with my obsession on this song, wait for the next advert to air again and I recorded this song on my phone. Ever since then, I asked my friends whether they know this song, but no one would come with answer.

Until one day, exactly, since I first heard it. I was me and by brother in my room, he was busy doing something on my laptop, while I typed something on my PC. He played THAT song from my music collection! I was like, Gosh… THIS is IT!!! So unique how fate can play with you in unique way.

One year and a half has passed, and I still love this tune…

I wish I can meet Mr. Eason to congratulate him because he had created this piece of beautiful normality.